


Last Orders

by swaneewhistleandkazoo



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Catharsis, F/M, Goodbyes, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, POV Phil Coulson, Post Season 5, Pre-Season/Series 06, Protective Phil Coulson, Spoilers, post 6x06 Inescapable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2020-05-18 14:46:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19336675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/swaneewhistleandkazoo/pseuds/swaneewhistleandkazoo
Summary: After they've saved the world Coulson says Goodbye to Fitz and gives Simmons his final order to her.





	Last Orders

**Author's Note:**

> Slight spoilers for 6x06, Beware very sad yet hopeful ending

Everything hurts.

The pain was so great that Coulson was forced to lean against the wall of the corridor as his knees buckled in protest against this vital journey and dizzying black spots danced across his vision.

A fierce ache radiated out from the wound in his heart that had originally killed him, the great terrible injury that Loki had inflicted on him. His veins burned where the Ghost rider had burned the GH.325 serum out of his blood and where the decay was setting in. Every breath was a stabbing soreness and the slight grinding sensation of bone on bone made him pretty sure that Yo-Yo and Jemma had broken his ribs or sternum when they’d performed CPR on him on the floor of the Zephyr in a desperate attempt to prolong his life.

But by far the greatest pain in him beyond his injuries and his slow inevitable death was the deep, chest wrenching agony that he’d lost a member of his team, of their little family.

Fitz.

Swearing internally he forced himself away from the wall and down the corridor to where Fitz’s body was lying in its body bag.

He’d been lying in the medical bay drifting in and out of consciousness valiantly attempting to ignore the pain in his chest and trying to think of more pleasant things, after all the world hadn’t ended and he’d finally kissed May properly. Maybe they could have some time together before the inevitable happened. _Maybe they could go to Tahiti_ He smirked grimly after all he’d heard it was a magical place.

He was oddly enough at peace with his decision to given the serum to Daisy even if it meant the end for him.

Then a high cold note of pure animal agony had rent the air, jolting him out of his state of semi consciousness and the sound of it had made the hair on the back of his neck prickle with fear and his overheated blood to run cold. It barely sounded human; nothing could make that sound and live with that much anguish.

He’d been too weak to force himself off the gurney and investigate the source of the sound and try to comfort it although he’d tried several times. So he’d lain there in helpless frustration until May had come in, tears streaming freely down her usually stoic face and told him, that Fitz, his brave, courageous genius of an engineer had been killed.

_Not Fitz_ He’d desperately begged the universe, hoping that for once in her life May was wrong. _Not Fitz, who was the heart of his team, who was barely thirty, who’d been through so much, survived so much pain only to come through the other side. Not Fitz who he was supposed to protect, his almost son. Not Fitz who’d just gotten married and had his whole future ahead of him._

His damaged heart had broken for Simmons. He wondered how much more she could take before she was pushed of the edge into insanity or if she was already there, whatever place she was at mentally it wasn’t healthy. Especially when he’d overheard her almost maniacal argument with Mack that another version of Fitz was still out there somewhere in deep space, safe and sound in his cryosleep on his 70 year journey to them in the future and the hope that she was right prevented him from slipping into complete despair.

This could not be how it ended for them. He had to believe that.

But even if they did find each other again it would be too late, he had to say goodbye to Fitz now, he would regret not bring there when Fitz came back to them.

Hence his slow steady progression down the corridor.

He had to brace himself before entering the room. His blood was rushing too loudly around the shell of his ears and his heartbeat pounded so hard in his temples throbbed all the sound was muffled, it was bit like being underwater.

Time had slowed to a trickle.

May stood like a sentinel, arms crossed tightly around her chest and a muscle twitched in her cheek as she bit the inside of her lip. Her usual inscrutable beautiful expression had cracked like brittle slate and tears were rolling slowly her cheeks which she made no attempt to brush them away.

Mack paced like a caged tiger, unable to settle, he couldn’t blame him after all he’d just lost his best friend, with a terrible self-condemnation swimming alongside the tears in his eyes. Yo-Yo was watching his relentless pacing with a look of deep concern on her face.

Piper sat on one of the troop benches head in her hands, tears making shining droplet on the ground by her feet and Davis stood next to her, one hand resting comfortingly on her shoulder as he stood frozen in shock.

Daisy sat on the step curled in on herself, hugging herself tightly as if she was afraid she was going to shake apart. He was so proud of her, all grown up and saving the world. “What are you doing out of bed?” She asked him worriedly, climbing to her feet as worry for him flashed across her stricken face.

Although he knew that she was only asking out of concern for his wellbeing, anger bubbled up at being treated like an invalid. Honestly just because he was a death’s door didn’t mean he couldn’t say goodbye to Fitz. It was something he had to do. “I had to see him” He replied shortly unable to find the energy or the patience to explain himself to his team.

He ignored May and Daisy’s whispered conversation about him and made his way slowly over to the body bag where Fitz’s body lay and it took a moment to gather up his courage to unzip it.

 Fitz’s face was oddly peaceful. He certainly didn’t look like he died confused and frightened and in a lot of pain, in fact he looked like he was sleeping. Coulson doesn’t dare unzip the bag any lower and exposed that terrible wound which bled out in a matter of moments and sent Fitz into shock, killing him.

But there’s no life animating Fitz anymore. He looks so much smaller in death than he had in life as if Fitz’s unique force of personality and sheer will power had made him larger than life and now it had all leaked away out of his wound and that lack on familiar expression makes it hard to recognise that this body was Fitz’s.

 Fitz isn’t in there anymore.

He rested his hand on Fitz’s still body bag cover chest bereft of the steady thrum of life and bowed his head.

*

_They’d been so heartbreakingly young when he’d first met them, still slightly under the belief that they were one person. Both so brilliant, so talented, so in sync with each other. Simmons practically vibrating with excitement at the prospect of being out in the field and Fitz the opposite cautious, reluctant even. But he’d know from the moment they’d stepped into the conference room with him that if Simmons decided to join the team he was putting together then Fitz would follow his partner faithfully, no matter what._

_Fitz hurtling himself down the stairs of the Bus at the sound of the containment alarm blaring and throwing himself at the lab his partner infected with an alien virus was contained heedless of the danger to himself. Ward had had wrap his arm around his waist and bodily restrain him from opening the door up to get to her. He’d then sat as close as he could get to her the glass their only separation, spine to spine and tried in vain to cheer her up from her impending death._

_Watching the footy as Fitz had called it together and Fitz throwing his thankfully empty beer can at the screen because his team lost._

_The slow steady beeps of his heart monitor and the hiss of his ventilator keeping Fitz alive in his coma after Ward had nearly drowned him. Simmons perched on his bedside, clutching his hand tightly in hers; her eyes never leaving his face with such intense concentration as if she could anchor him there with her force of will. No one expected Fitz to survive he’d been underwater without oxygen for too long but Fitz defied everyone’s expectations and opened his eyes nine days later. It was in that moment he’d learned not to underestimate Fitz for anything._

_“It’s ok Fitz” Simmons was saying gently to him after he’d ransacked his workspace in frustration at how his hands didn’t work, at how he couldn’t find the right words “You’re almost there” Fitz bitterly murmured something unintelligible to her, his good hand gripping tightly at the tool he’d numbered because he couldn’t remember the names. Behind him Simmons quickly brushed a tear away so he didn’t see it “Remember what the Doctor said Fitz. The steps you take don’t need to be big they just need to take you in the right direction.” His heart had broken for them then._

_He’d been so angry at Fitz’s impulsive dive through the portal to rescue Simmons but with Fitz grinning up at them from the ruins of the Monolith with Simmons in his arms he’d never been prouder of him._

_On his way to a meeting with Director Mace and stopping to watch Fitz and Simmons happy in the safety of their lab again, bickering over an experiment and arguing with each other before Simmons had shut him up by kissing him. The blissful expression on Fitz’s face making him grin and buoyed him up for the long tedious meetings ahead with the press department._

_The utter privilege he’d felt when they’d asked him to officiate their wedding. Fitz’s collar had been slightly crooked and he’d straightened it for him as Fitz had babbled nervously. He’d teased him slightly trying to relax the young man and the look of utter love on Fitz’s face when he saw Simmons utterly resplendent in white was more than enough to calm any worries he had about the pair of them. As long as they had each other they’d been fine. Even without him there._

_“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today for a moment we all knew was coming, some of us even before these two did and to delay it any longer would be playing with fire…”_

*

Oh the irony.

It took a lot of effort to tear himself away from Fitz’s still form and his gaze immediately fell upon Simmons. Like Fitz she looked infinitely smaller and brittle like the slightest touch or wrong word would shatter her into a thousand pieces. Something about the way she held herself, the pain and loss she felt was starkly visible in every line in her body made him wonder exactly how close she was to losing her mind completely. As tears, glinting in the harsh unnatural light of the room slid down her face silently and her fingers restlessly played with Fitz’s ring twisting in around and around.

The worst part of it was how desperately alone she was.

 Every so often she would adjust her stance automatically making room for where Fitz should be standing beside her and her eyes were darting around trying to make eye contact with him. He could almost see the empty space beside her where Fitz should be inhabiting instead of lying on a gurney so still and cold.  

He didn’t think she was in denial from her grief that Fitz was still out there like the others did. After all Fitz and Simmons had overcome other seemingly impossible challenges just to be together, finding their way from the bottom of the Atlantic, across space and through time. Maybe just maybe they could find a way around this seemingly impossible obstacle as well.

He had no doubt in either of them would find each other again.

Stiffly, muscles screaming with every step he made his way over to her. She didn’t look at him.

Very gently he asked her “He's out there isn't he?” He knew the answer he just wanted to know how certain she was about the answer otherwise he’d be sending her off on an unending wild goose chase

Her reply was so quiet, rusty from disuse, he almost didn’t hear her but the certainty in her voice rang through clearly “Yes sir.”  

Reaching out slowly so not to startle her, he gave her cold hand a squeeze the warm band of her wedding ring digging into his skin, he was glad she hadn’t taken it off yet. It meant she still had hope. Equally quietly he gave her the final order he ever hoped he’d make with SHIELD safely in the hands of Mack and Daisy “Then get to work.”

The elation in her expression when she realised that someone else shared her belief that Fitz was still out there somewhere warmed him and made the pain of his dying body easier to bare. Gazing back calmly at him and resolutely replied “Yes sir.” Then she turned and strode purposely out of the room.

She did no look back.

May’s arm slide around his waist and he realised that he’d been slumping over with no handy wall to lean on. As he leaned his thousand pound head on her shoulder, her silky black hair tickling his cheek he realised that she was looking at him with disapproval.

It felt good to be on the receiving end of her glare again, it felt normal like he wasn’t going to keel over soon and leave her alone like Simmons.

“Are you sure that was a good idea?” She asked him sternly glancing sadly at Fitz’s body.

He thought about it for a moment, thought about making a star wars pun about her lack of faith in Fitzsimmons.

If they’d taught him anything over the years they’d all been together is that he had no doubt they would find each other. None at all.

“Yes” He told her quietly “Yes I am sure.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write Coulson's reaction to Fitz's death and reflection on his life and Fitzsimmons relationship and now I have the opportunity. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed.
> 
> Your comments and kudos are as always deeply appreciated.


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